"Just Apologize": When Respect Is Used to Silence the Young

Weeks ago on a public transport, an older man made loud and defamatory remarks that were completely out of line. I responded with facts. Instead of addressing the issue, a respected woman in the bus turned to me and said, 'Apologise.' 

She hadn’t even heard what I said. She didn’t ask what happened. In her mind, because I am younger, I was automatically in the wrong. The other passengers stayed silent. “Don’t mind him,” some muttered. “Just leave it.” 

At that moment, I felt the heavy weight of a culture that many of us have grown up with. A culture where respect for elders often means total silence, even when you are right.

This is not just one bad bus ride. This is how Ghana is.

Respect for elders is one of the most beautiful aspects of our Ghanaian and African culture. It teaches humility, values wisdom from experience, and holds communities together. Our proverbs remind us that elders are like libraries. When they speak, we are supposed to listen.

But somewhere along the line, this respect has been twisted into something else, unquestioned obedience. Even when an elder is wrong, rude, or making false accusations, the expectation is that the younger person must keep quiet, apologise, or “not mind them.” If you dare speak up, the label comes quickly: “These Gen Zs don’t respect their elders anymore.”

I have seen this play out in homes, churches, schools, and even in corporate settings. A young employee with a better idea is told to sit down because “the boss is older.” A child cannot have an honest conversation with their parents about mental health, relationships, or career dreams because “children don’t talk back.” Families suffer in silence because different generations cannot bridge the gap in mindset.

The saddest part is how the rest of society enables this. On that bus, no one wanted to get involved. They chose peace over justice. This “don’t talk, let them tire” mentality protects the wrongdoer more than it keeps peace. There are moments when we must raise our voices. Not with arrogance, but with truth and respect.

Yet, when young people do speak, they are accused of disrespect.

Meanwhile, some elders abuse the power that age gives them. They speak recklessly, make defamatory statements, and still demand apologies. Where is the accountability?

The law talks about rights, fairness, and justice. But in practice, culture dominates, especially in informal spaces like buses, markets, and family compounds. Culture wins, and the youth often lose their voice.

I am not saying we should disrespect our elders. Far from it. What I am asking for is mutual respect, respect that is earned through wisdom, fairness, and accountability, not automatically given because of grey hair.

If we keep silencing our young people in the name of respect, we are not preserving culture, we are weakening our entire society.

Share your experiences in the comments.